No Words

Spring has come,
a humid breath
between,
beneath
these ancient oaks

With their mossy beards
slowly
growing

Unknown grasses,
Stems of unknown blossoms
Rising Up!
Emanating a thousand shades of green
I have never
seen before

Or have I?

Goldsmith once said
The World is New!

And so it is
When the windows to the soul
are cleansed

Here, such a beauty
and stillness

as to overtake
this small me
totally

And this poem,
this creation of the mind,
even
a heresy!
a bastardization

of silence.

Spring

moment

that cannot be
spoken.

To open my lips
to invent a stanza
and already
I have departed
from Truth!

But for now,
Dear Lord,
this, this
is all I have to give

My humble and inadequate
offering.

Mirror in the Sky, What is Love?

We drove to Yosemite, strained, bickering--husband and I--and over the dry, surreal 152, a thousand thoughts, like all these dry, twisted, lonely Oaks, dotting the hillside, running, running, running alongside the car.

In Yosemite, we found silent majesty, amazing grace, happy children, cool waters ... it was Almost Independence Day (thank you, Van Morrison.)

Silence.

The mystery of endless stars.

During the ride home, once again, strain and tension. Now husband is in a hurry, I am not--who is deciding directions? Who trusts who to get us home? Who is overly worried? Who is being most obnoxious?

Then, Explosion! ... (from husband)

Explosion! ... (from wife, that's me)

Mind whirls into how to fix this, what we should talk about, what is the underlying issue here, guilt & remorse, whose fault and why?

Then, there was the invitation to Stop! ... Husband not talking to me anyway. Guilt, remorse, second thoughts, disastrous future-thinking ...

Who cares???

Just stop!

And we are back over the 152, and the gnarled, money-green oaks look so much more beautiful than before. It is hot. It is Independence Day. We have been to Heaven and back. We have been to Hell and back.

And it is all O.K.

And the radio played: I took my love and I took it down. I climbed a mountain and turned around ...

Clarity

It is becoming more and more clear to me that we live with nothing but our thoughts. "I want," "I need"--thoughts of non-completion (incompleteness? Help me here ... ). "I love this." "I love you." Ahhhh, now here are some thoughts to rest in, to fall into ...

"I am fine."

"You are fine."

"This is fine."

What can we do about any of it, anyway? Really?

Life goes on despite our decisions and worries and concerns. Mostly having very little--if anything!--to do with any kind of plan or picture of what we thought life would be like. It's just going, flowing. It is stuck in traffic. It is wife leaving us for another man. It is husband being judgmental. It is mother-in-law being worried. It is child throwing tantrum, becoming drug addict.

It is all these "terrible" things.

When we no longer care (or rather, when we care deeply about our peace of mind instead) the judgment begins to slow down ... and then it stops. And then we realize, oh, You are Me. Hey, great, it's fantastic that you are:

boring me with details
having an affair
not going to pay me the money you borrowed

What do I care when I am in love with Life
and Life

has started

to love

me

back!

( ... the view beyond my judgment is
just
so much
better

and I can't even imagine
what lies
beyond
That!)